Shall I tell you something completely absurd?
There is no such thing as the right or wrong decision! Never!
Every decision, really every one, takes you further in your personal development and more to the person you really are inside!
I’ve already mentioned this once in my very first blog post, but would like to deepen it again here.
First of all, you can’t really know what the right or wrong decision would be for you! If you’re about to make a decision you stand at a crossroads with mostly two options.
If you make your choice now, you will never know what the other way would have looked like!
Let’s take an example: You want to go on a vacation. You can choose between relaxing by the sea or hiking in the mountains.
You decide for the latter.
During your holiday you will notice that the chosen hiking routes are quite exhausting and that your backpack feels heavier with every step you take. Your thoughts don’t wander with you in the mountains, but more and more often to the beautiful white sand, the sound of the sea and sunbathing on the lounger…
‘Damn, if I only had decided for the beach holiday’.
I bet, had you chosen the beach holiday, it would have stormed and rained immensely and your thoughts would have gone wandering in the mountains.
I am aware that some decisions in life cannot be compared to the choice of your holiday destination, but are much more meaningful.
Nevertheless, it’s always the right decision, the decision of your heart.
And I believe that you intuitively always choose the way which provides the best experiences and teaches you the most important lessons that you need in that time… even if you’re often not aware of it!
An example from my life:
I followed my dream 2 years ago by taking a plane to New Zealand/Australia. Although I was in a relationship at that time, I decided to stay there for 6 months. It was my dream that I had had for years and that I wanted to fulfill.
Long story short:
My journey ended after 3 months. The priority at that time was very clear: my relationship.
So I could have gone home and reproach myself for weeks why I threw away my biggest dream so far. Or I recall why I made that decision. At that moment, when I rebooked my flight, my relationship was more important to me and afterwards that time taught me so much about me and what I want in life.
This decision was exactly what I – or my heart – needed at that moment, so I had to stand by it. That’s it. There was no ‘I regret that…’ or ‘I would have rather…’.
But how do I make an important decision, what might help me with my choice?
- pro <-> contra
On the one hand, I still plead for the good old pros and cons lists. Write down everything that pops , every little thought.
Then you take a fat red pencil and cross out everything that comes out of your mind.
By that I don’t mean that you should act completely headless, but we – especially in Germany – have a great habit of thinking everything to death and a pinch less heady would do us some good.
2. Feel yourself into the situation
Whatever helps me is to imagine every possibility with all options and to pay attention to what feelings arise within you. This usually always gives an indication of what your heart desires.
3. talk to your loved ones
and please, by that I really mean your loved ones! Those who have good intentions, who have got your back and and who don’t want to push you in one direction, but maybe show you new ways (maybe the ‘either-or’ can become a ‘as well as’??? ) or just listen to you. This way, you can trust that you will always be supported no matter what you decide. But again, choose these people consciously and don’t talk about your issues with everyone, it just confuses you and doesn’t help a lot.
4. keep all windows and doors wide open until your final decision.
Even if you’re standing at a crossroads with two junctions, don’t get all attached to them! Stay open. You never know which way, which possibility could reveal itself, which you haven’t thought of yet (again, the advice of others can help).
5. be courageous!
So often our decisions are based on our fears, on what we do not want. I ask myself with each decision,wether I want to get away from something or towards something!
Do you want to move out of your parents’ place because you have a problem with them and you wanna avoid a confrontation, or do you want to move out because you want to gain new experience in being independent
-> Same action, completely different MOTIV-ations!
6. if you have decided, then you have decided.
Finally – I have already mentioned it – stand by your decision! Stand with your back to the wall. When you have chosen your way, let yourself be fully involved and don’t waste your energy with a ‘What if…’?
Now it’s your turn 🙂
Decide.
And you know what?
The right time
is always NOW.
I very hope I could help you with your decision!
Please write me if the tips have helped you to get clearer about your further way 🙂
Talk to you soon!
Tara